As a smart, private school bus draws up, one of the girls breaks off in mid-sentence to hop on, saying, in Hindi "Kal milenge" ("see you tomorrow"). A few minutes later, a battered public bus draws up; the other schoolgirl checks the number before jumping on for her ride to school.

The two girls are from totally different socio-economic strata, yet they are friends. Just a few months earlier, they would not have even acknowledged each other's existence. And not because they would not have seen each other: living in the same locality, catching their respective school buses from the same point, they were bound to have been within eyesight.

But neither would have registered the other: they come from two worlds that are so clearly separated by economic and social barriers that they might as well be on two different planets – their upbringing would have made the "other" virtually invisible.

Jeroo Billimoria

Today MolJol is directed by executive secretary Kamal Damania. "Sympathy limits your responses to merely feeling sorry for a person's situation," Damania said. "But to be motivated to take the next step of working together to find a common solution, one needs to be truly sensitized to feel a problem as one's own – in other words, to empathize."

MelJol's core activity, the Twinning Program, is designed to promote and nurture empathy. It brings children together from different backgrounds in a way that provides them with an opportunity to understand that rights and responsibilities are the same for all children, regardless of barriers of class, ethnicity, religion, or even ability.

"The program enables them to come together in a child-friendly, nonthreatening environment,

Kamal Damania

to build friendships based on understanding," Damania said.

Meljol facilitates several types of twinning. Private or government (state-aided) schools, which serve the middle and upper classes, may be twinned with 1) municipal schools, which are run by municipal authorities and cater to the lower middle-class and poor, 2) a citizen sector organization that works with marginalized groups of children, or 3) schools for children with special abilities.

MelJol's Twinning Program has reached more than 300 schools and some 94,000 school children since Meljol was founded in 1991. During the 2001-02 academic year, 1,260 children from 18 schools and organizations in Mumbai participated in the program. In the neighboring city of Pune, the program enrolled another 823 children from eight schools.

The twinning module combines activities with reflection and discussion. Children from different backgrounds work on common projects, and much time is allotted to discussion, evaluation, and feedback.

"We have found this articulation is essential for preparing kids to interact with each other, and it also compels them to constantly reflect on what they are going through – on their attitudes, their prejudices, and how these notions compare with the reality of their experience," Damania said.

Six sessions are each comprised of two sessions of orientation, interaction and feedback. The orientation and feedback sessions last 45 minutes to an hour and are conducted in each of the twinned schools independently. The number of student participants varies from 35 to 50.

Participants from both schools meet together for the interaction sessions that usually take two hours. Meljol encourages each of the two participating schools to host one of these interactions so that the children get a chance to visit each other's environments.

The sessions take place during school hours; participating schools carve out the time from their daily routines. Daylong interactive programs like picnics take place on weekend days.

The second orientation session focuses on other groups of children who share the same environment. During the course of discussions, games and activities such as role-playing, the children express prejudices and stereotypes about themselves and their "twin" group. These are analyzed and debated. The session closes with a recap of the concepts that were introduced in the first session (child rights and responsibilities, the environment, etc.).

"It's very interesting to watch the change in attitudes over the course of these opening sessions, especially among students of the privileged schools," Damania said with a smile. "When we begin (especially among the older students, such as ninth and tenth graders), there's often the typical 'we-know-it-all-so-why-waste-our-time' outlook. But as the discussions take off – as the kids gets drawn in and engage with these very real topics that affect them – they start shedding this studied indifference, and they get really involved. Watching this change happen is very rewarding."

Interacting with the "Other"

After initial introductions, the first interaction session begins with games, energizers, and activities that may include play-acting, crafts, story telling, and exercises that involve teamwork to build trust. Themes typically revolve around the rights of children, the contribution that each child makes to society, etc. The sessions are carefully facilitated to ensure that the children from the two groups intermingle at all times.

This is followed by individual feedback sessions at both schools where the children are encouraged to compare their experience of interacting with the "other" group with the stereotypes that they had expressed earlier. Children analyze their feelings about the group they met, and also explore how the meeting has changed them. Once more, the theme of child rights and the need to value all members of society sets the tone for the discussions. The similarities human beings is stressed.

At the final interaction session, the students form groups to do something creative with the topic "MelJol" (coming together), and then make a presentation. Their presentations may include charts, or they may compose a song, play or poem.

Sometimes the students perform role-playing exercises. For example, "Each group would select a real-life situation from a topic list that includes situations like 'a fire in the slum', 'teachers on strike' or 'no elders at home,' which they would then present as a short play." Damania said. "The presentation is followed by discussion of the attitudes demonstrated and the biases that emerge."

Building Lasting Partnerships

The students return to their respective schools for the final feedback session. It focuses on getting the children to talk about the overall MelJol experience, and facilitating continued interaction between the two groups.

Children are encouraged to work on long-term plans that they have identified as important, such as an environmental campaign. Clubs and committees are formed to implement these plans, creating a foundation for the evolution of an ongoing partnership between the two groups.

The number of sessions and the types of interactions and activities that occur are adjusted to fit the needs of the children. For example, MelJol staff sometimes notice that children need additional prepping to be able to empathize. Privileged children may need extra coaching about the realities of a slum child's life to make them more sensitive during the interactions. Or poor children who require some additional confidence building assure them that they can relate with rich kids on an equal footing.

The participants' ability to empathize is nurtured and enriched when they collaborate on projects – such as cleaning up their neighborhoods, planting trees, or campaigning for a children's park on a block where all children, regardless of background, can play - where they all feel they are stakeholders, and they then get a chance to reflect on these experiences. "They see that differences are a fact of life that cannot be wished away," Damania said. "The more important thing is to move beyond and above these differences, to understand the essential sameness, and to work towards accomplishing common goals."

"I realized that there was no problem in communication, and the gap between rich and poor was not a real barrier," said a class VIII (eight grade) student at Bombay's posh Jamnabai Narsee School. "In fact, I made new friends and have realized that no matter how poor a person might be, he or she is not poor in the heart. And that is what is important."

Teaching Teachers Too

To work, the Twinning Program must have teachers who understand and are in total agreement with the vision and aims of the program, and who appreciate the value of the twinning process. Without their unqualified buy-in, it's not really possible to make the program effective.

Moreover, teachers are looked upon as role models by their students, and what the students learn during the twinning course must be reiterated and amplified by teachers during the daily school routine. "For this reason, we spend premium time with principals and teachers of the participating classes so that they understand the program holistically," Damania said. "And therefore, we work as a team to plan and implement the program effectively."

MelJol has published a step-by-step manual that enables teachers to conduct the Twinning Program in their own schools.

Kamal Damania
MelJol
Room 117, 3rd Floor
Gilderlane Secondary Municipal School
off Bellasis Bridge
Opp Mumbai Central Local Station
Mumbai 400 008
Tel: 91-22-3081050/3006428
E-mail: meljol@vsnl.com