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Overcoming the Stigma
of Infertility in Zimbabwe
Text and photos by Peggy Cohen
Seven years ago, Betty Chishava's husband kicked her out of their Harare home after she failed to bear a child. Herbert had fallen in love with their maid, who had four children. After two decades of marriage, Chishava was dragged into a messy and miserable divorce.
Feeling betrayed by the man she had once nursed through a six-year illness, Chishava also felt bitter that her unemployed husband, who had been financially dependent on her earnings, left her when he found a job. Her anger was compounded by the fact that it had been medically proven long back that her husband's low sperm-count prevented conception.
Betty Chishava and her husband Herbert (left), with family members outside their home
Chishava (48) grew up in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe's second-largest city, in a family of 10 children. Her hard-working parents provided a comfortable living, with her mother working as a vendor and her father employed at the airport. To bring in some extra income, the family sold the produce of their garden.
However, with her father's death in 1971, a period of financial struggle began, and Chishava married early to help ease the situation. At 18, she wed Herbert, who had until then lived on his father's small farm.
Twenty years later, when her husband threw her out and refused to support her, Chishava was shattered: "I was stranded, I had nothing. Nothing."
Although Chishava had been working for the Ministry of Health, it was not enough to survive. She fought the terms of the divorce, but did not secure maintenance payments until several years later.
Wounded by her ordeal, Chishava decided to look outwards instead. The experience propelled her to reach out to other childless women, those who were floundering in a society where girls are groomed to become wives and mothers.
Ultimately, Chishava went on to set up the Chipo Chedu Society (meaning "our gift" in her vernacular Shona language), a support organization for childless women who do not have access to the social and economic safety nets available to mothers, and aimed to help them become independent by broadening their skills, social networks and their options for recourse.
Motherhood and a Woman's Worth
At the onset, when Chishava had approached the Ministry of Justice, she was told she had a valid concern, and that there were indeed no other efforts to address the problem of childless people. Further, she found that none of the slew of NGOs she contacted was specifically addressing the issue.
Chishava used Ashoka fellowship funds to set up the Society office and pay wages to two colleagues – childless
women who had no relevant professional experience – but whose personal histories unified them with the issue. They assist Chishava with counseling, administration and community work.
This support is crucial in this southern African country, where a woman's worth is sometimes determined by how many children she can bear, and where rejection of childless women knows no social or economic class. The cultural standard is borne of a tradition that makes male descendents the bearers of the family name and gives them the sole right to inherit property.
Sons are also largely responsible for providing for aged parents. Daughters, who are considered financial assets, are married off with the payment of bridewealth from the son-in-law to the daughter's family – a sum of money which can be negotiated today for as high as U.S.$2,000.
"There's no difference, even if you are rich," Chishava tells you. "If you don't have a child, you are nothing."
Until Chishava was kicked out of home, she had not considered the magnitude of the problem. She knew clinics existed to treat infertile women, but didn't know if the government was aware of the suffering associated with the condition.
She embarked on a fact-finding mission to determine what interventions, if any, were offered by the government and non-governmental organizations. She also sought information from childless women on their coping strategies and then approached the Ministry of Justice, urging the government to pass laws to protect such women.
Although government officials acknowledged the problem they did little to address it, prompting Chishava to seek help from family planning clinics. Chishava ultimately compiled several case studies to market her work, profiling childless people in different parts of the country to highlight the different ways in which they handle such issues.
The Crying Meeting
Chishava's questionnaires include matters pertaining to the women's marital status, level of education and income. She also asks about the nature of their relationships, whether their partner beats them, why they believe they haven't conceived, their feelings on adoption, if they've ever visited a specialist, or attended counseling or skills training workshops. Chishava uses the information to isolate the needs of her participants.
In 1997, after the years of research, Chishava and two childless companions made a radio announcement about an upcoming meeting for childless people in Harare. She approached the radio station, which was holding a program on gender issues, to broadcast this. On the scheduled day, to their amazement, 55 childless women – and one infertile man – showed up. Those who were unable to attend the meeting, sent in letters.
Chishava began by sharing her personal story. Then she said: "Go ahead, have a good cry. But after crying, tell us what you think, what you are really facing. We want to come up with a single solution to solve the problem." She also took advantage of the meeting to pass out her questionnaires.
This gathering, which Chishava dubbed the "crying meeting," was the birth of the Society which now strives to increase public awareness of problems facing childless women and to change society's treatment of them. Her group also aims to extend health services and create job markets for those women, who, like Chishava, are often ostracized by society. The idea is to educate, counsel and empower childless women to become financially independent.
Betty Chishava (back turned, with white head wrap) rehearsing with a drama club that uses Chipo Chedu members as actors
Chishava's broader aim is to educate parents who don't understand what it's like not to have children, in-laws who are reluctant to keep a "barren" woman in their home, and anyone else who might be tempted to shun such women. Through her organization, she tries to replace the support childless women have lost through their families and community. For these women, name-calling, ostracism, and sometimes, even physical harassment from those in their community, can be unbearable.
Chishava's efforts take place against the backdrop of human rights abuses against women the world over. According to the United Nations Population Fund's State of World Population 2000 report, millions of women are still subjected to mental and physical abuse – in and outside the home – with gross infringement of their legal rights.
The list of human rights violations against women is endless. In many parts of Asia, where the boy-child is highly prized, female feticide is common. Worldwide, about 130 million girls and young women are forced to submit to circumcision.
"Honor" killings, mainly in South Africa and west and south Asia, have led thousands of young women to their deaths. To avenge "dishonor" to the family – which could be anything from her having been raped or for not remaining sexually chaste – women are murdered in cold blood by members of their own families.
The Vulnerability of Women
In Zimbabwe, roughly half of those with HIV/AIDS are female, with the infection rate being highest among adolescent girls. According to the Musasa Project, a national NGO that addresses domestic violence, 37 percent of women in Zimbabwe report having experienced sexual violence since age 16, while 32 percent experienced physical violence before that age, numbers which indicate the vulnerability women already face.
While Chishava believes that Zimbabwe is better off than most countries, women are still subjected to physical and mental abuse in her country, and often do not have the wherewithal to fight it. According to Thoko Ruzvidzo, chairperson and founding member of the Women's Resource Center and Network, Zimbabwe has been progressive in passing laws that protect women's rights. However, the system fails women in the execution of those laws, and is still lacking some basic gender protections.
For example, women often have access to land through their husbands, but don't necessarily have control over the land, or its outputs. And although a woman married under civil law is allowed to inherit property when her husband dies, one married under customary law may be forced to surrender her home and other possessions to her brother-in-law.
"If you look at our customs, a woman is a dependant of the man," says Ruzvidzo, who is also a consultant on gender, rural and organizational development issues.
Betty Chishava (left) rehearsing with drama club
Chipo Chedu could be instrumental in helping to harmonize the two sets of laws, she feels. Chishava's organization can be especially effective in helping childless women because it focuses on one specific issue of gender inequality, one that was previously ignored. "We don't have any organization that deals with the issues that she's dealing with, that's for sure," says Ruzvidzo.
In Zimbabwe, the pressure to bear children is oppressively high and begins just after a couple marries. "If it doesn't happen, family members might tell the husband to leave his wife or urge the wife to conceive with another man and pretend the child belongs to her husband," says Chishava. "Or, the wife's aunts, mother and the rest of the family encourage the husband to take another wife. They even go to the extent of trying to separate a happily married couple if they don't have children."
In the end, however, the blame is usually put on the woman, asserts Chishava. Even doctors hesitate to tell a man if he has an infertility problem, but will readily tell a woman that she is barren. And in cases where the couple divorces and the woman has a child with another man, her first husband's problem would still not be acknowledged.
For women who are widowed with no children, the problem is especially serious when it comes to inheritance rights, which make the eldest male child the recipient of the family's inheritance. Although mothers with only daughters are also vulnerable to this custom, those with no children are hit even harder.
Preventing Witch Hunts with Awareness-Building
Older, childless women, who have lost everything, are sometimes forced to return to their family homes. Those who come from rural areas are at a special disadvantage, as they are no longer fit enough to contribute to household duties such as toting bails of water or collecting firewood. Since they have no dependants and if they have outlived their family members, they are left with no support system.
Young childless women are sometimes encouraged to steal babies from hospitals. They are labeled witches or prostitutes, and even relatives may not entrust their children to their care.
Chishava's strategy is to hold awareness-building meetings targeting childless women and those who shun them. So far, she has held one meeting in Gweru, a city in central Zimbabwe.
The money from the Ashoka fellowship helps to keep her work focused at counseling sessions and skills-training courses in income-generation. The courses explain costing, pricing, planning, management, competition and product quality.
While some are still struggling to make ends meet, several members now have enough skills in batik printing, for example, to eke out a living. The aim is to create a 25 percent increase in income for at least 20,000 women living on tribal trust land. Although Chishava works with all women, those living on tribal trust land are generally the poorest.
Over and above the formal counseling sessions, Chishava offers her own – albeit unprofessional, but informed – advice to anyone she encounters. She draws wisdom not only from her own experience, but also from information from the World Health Organization, which she consulted for counseling guidelines.
Chishava has also authored books to familiarize youths with childlessness issues and that it's okay to be childless. She hopes that as adults, they'll be more sympathetic to the issue. She hopes to make the books part of the school curriculum, with the backing of the education ministry.
Perhaps her most innovative effort is the drama club and the play she's authored, which explores the problems facing childless people and uses Chipo Chedu members as its actors. While the play does not overtly condemn ostracizing childless people, it shows the negative consequences of such behavior.
Catharsis through Drama
Chishava believes the play's effectiveness lies in the fact that it leaves questions in people's minds, and forces them to review their own decisions when they recognize themselves in the play. The play will soon be ready for performances in rural areas, with follow up discussion sessions.
The drama club has served as a point of catharsis for the actors. For Stella Tavengwa (41), it helps keep her mind focused on anything but having babies. Tavengwa miscarried once in 1983, no longer has a partner, and feels she is too old to try conceiving again. She remains troubled by an internal grief, which is salved by the drama club. She is learning new skills through the group and is making ends meet through tailoring.
Farai Chikuku, 29, one of the three men in the drama club, married thrice, but failed to impregnate his wives. It was after they got pregnant with other men that he finally accepted that the problem lay with him.
He probably would have killed himself, he says, had he not found support through Chipo Chedu. Crippled by polio, he felt he had been punished twice. "After counseling, I feel the freedom to live like any other person," he says.
Betty Chishava with drama club
As Ruzvidzo explains, in Zimbabwean society, an infertile man's manhood is at stake. "It shames the family as well, so they will get the man's brother to impregnate his sister-in-law. It's all done quietly. A man might even have a dead rat thrown into his grave if he dies childless."
As one solution, Chishava advocates adopting children, although the suggestion gets an icy reception in Zimbabwe where people believe children from outside the biological family will die and bring bad spirits into the home. In response, she encourages people to rethink their cultural mores.
For the older women who find themselves alone in rural areas, she tries to delegate responsibilities to others in the community. In one rural area, Chishava's colleagues devised a schedule where younger community members take turns fetching water and firewood for a childless couple. "Their needs are different from the middle-aged. We need to build a system of welfare for such people."
Although there is no concrete way to gauge the impact of Chishava's group as yet, there is plenty of anecdotal evidence to suggest her efforts are working.
In one case, an HIV-positive man counseled by Chishava, stipulated that his childless wife inherit after his death. His family respected his wishes.
A Long Way to Go
Another childless widow who lost all her property to her in-laws, including her house, was able to secure maintenance payments from her father-in-law after Chishava, along with the Musasa Project, intervened. The woman is now running a business.
And Chishava feels she is making headway with a boy who routinely antagonizes his childless stepmother by locking her out of the house and criticizing her for using the plates, which he deems his property.
The inroads she's made notwithstanding, Chishava feels she has a long way to go. Once she has
garnered more funds, she hopes to find a professional counselor to hold regular counseling sessions and a medical doctor for routine consultations. She also wants to hold monthly skills training workshops in each region, and hopes to recruit more professionals to join her in fundraising and in canvassing communities.
Chishava plans to focus on forging ties with established NGOs, which will allow her to capitalize on other resources available to women. She also hopes to network with the education ministry to impact students with her books, and lobby other government offices for legislation that would give childless women more legal protection when fighting issues like inheritance rights.
She wants to recruit more professionals to address meetings and join her board. She also would like to open credit accounts for her members.
Her group is now 500-strong with has members from around the country. To become a member, they need to fill in the questionnaire, and for those who can afford to, pay an annual contribution of about U.S.$2. They are then free to participate in any of the Chipo Chedu activities. Chishava continues to expand her reach to untouched areas.
In the years to come, Chishava envisions her group burgeoning into a comprehensive center with a shelter, and private rooms for skills training, counseling sessions and medical examinations to help couples isolate the source of their infertility. She would like to make legal advice available to women who don't realize they can contest decisions made about their matrimonial homes. And most important, she would like to see childless women stand on their own.
Chishava, who wanted a life partner to ease her old age, reconciled with her apologetic husband last year after he paid divorce fees to her family. The children in their neighborhood call her "maiguru," or elder mother.
She still craves for a child, but is content for now to have Chipo Chedu as her "baby," with the hope that she might someday care for someone else's abandoned child. And although she still talks bitterly about the time she was "dumped," she believes her husband has amended his ways.
Needs:
Betty Chishava needs volunteers to research, network, handle publicity and write grant proposals. She is also looking for anyone with knowledge of video cameras to produce tapes of her drama shows.
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June 2001 Journal Home Page